Good friends they say are hard
to find. Five years after Goldie’s demise, popular and hyper-centric OAP,
Denrele, a very close friend of the musician in what has become his annual
tradition, visited the grave side of the diva to pay a tribute.
Dearest friend,
You have been dead for FIVE
YEARS now.
I can’t say it has been easy
learning to live without you. Heading into year FIVE, I can say I have started to
make real progress. I can talk about your death without crying. I can look
people in the eye and tell them how you died. And now I finally feel like I can
be honest with you. Okay, not with you per se, but I can be honest with myself
about you.
I’ve come to terms with the
fact that I will never see you again. It was incredibly difficult to reconcile
my desire to see you again with my belief that there is no afterlife. I used to
look for you everywhere, hoping that you were watching over me and sending me
signs. But I don’t need you to linger anymore. I am finally at ease with your
passing.
It shouldn’t have been a secret
that I loved you for being more than a friend and closer than family. While I
was completely satisfied with what I thought was the ideal platonic male/female
relationship, I know others thought that we could be perfect for each other.
How serendipitous it would have been!
It pains me to admit that I
think about you more now than I did when you were alive. I stare into your
negative space and fear that one day I will go twenty-four hours without
pausing to remember you. I let your tense slide from present to past and even
past perfect.
While it is frightening to
think of what comes next, somehow, in your own way, you’ve prepared me for it.
You were my first friend and my first eulogy. I think it would make you, the
eternal optimist that you were, happy to know that your friendship keeps making
me a better, stronger person. You showed me that I can function in the face of
tragedy. You taught me the vocabulary of grief so I can comfort others when
they need it. I never would have asked for it to be this way, but if this is
what I can take from it, I will.
So, dearest friend, that’s all
I have to share for now. I’ll raise a glass for your 38th birthday this
October, and, as always, I’ll keep you in my thots.
P.S: I wore YOUR DRESS to ur
graveside. It's ripped here and there (You'll pull my hair out for this) but
it's cos I'v been dancing #Skibobo in it all day long!
RIP GOLDIE
Pics and Tribute courtesy Denrele Instagram
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