Dating: the word can either make you cringe or jump for joy - I have good news for you, though, there are ways to make dating fun! Dating is the best way to learn more about yourself as well as learn more about other guys out there. Now I’m sure you’re probably sitting there replaying all the horrible experiences you’ve had on dates in the past. I can assure you that there are several ways to make dating fun! Take it from someone who just got back into the field and has learned a few tricks along the way!
1. FOCUS ON THE NOW
One of the most important ways to make dating fun is to focus on the now. This means no gossiping about ex-boyfriends, ladies! Stop dwelling in the past – if an old relationship didn’t work out, accept that fact and move on. I know it’s much easier said than done to embrace this harsh reality, but the truth of the matter is that if you don’t accept and admit to yourself that a previous relationship ended because he just wasn’t the right guy for you at the time, you will never be able to move forward. The ultimate reason for dating is to find "the one," right? So if you’re currently single and ready to mingle tell yourself that there is a REASON why it didn’t work out and while you’re out with your new guy, concentrate on the present moment: getting to know him.
2. SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE
I’d say that going slow is almost as important as focusing on the now. The truth is guys will stick around longer if you take it slow because they will respect you instead of use you. If you walk into a date knowing that you’re priority is to get to know him as a friend – make sure to think of him as a friend first to see what happens – then there won’t be any added pressure to what may happen after the date. This approach will set both of your minds at ease and you’ll have more fun enjoying each other’s company!
3. DO SOMETHING SPONTANEOUS
Letting the guy do the planning for a date is fun and all, but he may be more nervous than you! Take some of the pressure off for him by planning something spontaneous. Chances are he will try impressing you with a movie or dinner, or both. Kind of generic and boring, right? Well, why don’t you surprise him with a round of mini golf after the movie or go bowling? A guy I was dating over the summer actually surprised me after dinner and took me to mini golf and it was the most fun I’ve had in a long time! Prior to going out with him, I honestly can’t remember the last time that I had gone mini golf. We also went bowling another night and it was so much fun! (I realized how awesome I am at bowling when I beat him, just saying) Show off your skills and really WOW him!
4. DON’T HOLD EXPECTATIONS
We’re told not to hold grudges, right? Well, don’t hold expectations either. It’s so easy for young ladies to constantly wonder, "Is he the one?" and so we go through the motions of dating with these high expectations that every single guy we meet, let alone date, will be the one. You know who you are: you’ve got a list of "must haves" buried somewhere in your desk, if not then definitely buried in your mind and heart. I know I do. I’m very picky and have high expectations – I totally get it. But I’ve realized, just recently believe it or not, that life is too complex and challenging already, we don’t need to over complicate things. If you go on a date with a realistic list (making sure that he is: respectful, kind, shows interest) rather than focusing so heavily on the little details, you may be pleasantly surprised!
5. PAMPER YOURSELF
Dressing up is half the fun of going out, isn’t it? When you look good, you FEEL good! Spoiling yourself even just a little bit before a date will give you the confidence boost you’ll need to totally own the date, look like a movie star, and feel like a million bucks. I’d suggest scheduling a Mani Pedi or maybe even schedule a hair appointment the day of your date so that it almost puts you in the mood to go out and meet your new hottie. Being the daughter of an image consultant, I know how empowering it is to make a statement with your choice of outfit and how important it is to make a great first impression. This can definitely spice up your dating life – here’s the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself. Go ahead, pamper yourself! Go get yourself that cute skirt or perfect pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing this week!
6. TRY DATING OLDER
I’m not saying Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore status older, but maybe 1 to 4 years older. We all know how immature guys can be, right? For those of us who are getting to the age of seriously looking for "the one" and wanting to date for the purpose of trying to make the relationship last, guys our age just aren’t cutting it. They are still stuck in college-mode wanting to go out and drink and party and flirt with girls. Well guess what, dude? I don’t have time for you. And I’m sure a lot of you can agree with me on this one. Solution? Get out of your comfort zone and try dating a guy who is older, more mature, and maybe more serious about wanting to date. Older guys have also "been there, done that" so they may bring an extra something special into the date, based on what he perhaps learned from a previous relationship. Perfect example: I’m talking to this guy who is two years older than me and already I see a huge difference - he is more outgoing, confident in himself, stable, and most importantly more fun than guys my age! Give it a try, you never know!
7. HAVE FUN
This is really the cherry on top of this whole 7-layered cake. The most important thing to do and remember is to HAVE FUN! Be loose, be flirty, be friendly, enjoy the time you’re spending with him. If you don’t make it a priority to have fun with the guy you’re dating, you’re going to get in this boring cycle of routine, just like an old married couple. Believe me, I know people who don’t have fun while dating and they are stuck and too comfortable to move on and make the decision to have fun with the person they’re with. Who wants that kind of life? I’m sure you don’t. So next time you go out on a date, remember to smile and show off your sexy confidence and flirtatious fun side and set the intention to have a great time, no matter what!
So, are there ways to make dating fun? The answer is absolutely yes! Movie relationships can be an extreme fantasy and give you a sense of false love most of the time, portraying both parties to be blissfully happy and in love without a problem or care in the world. But who says we can’t turn that screenplay into our reality? I don’t think there is a rule or law written anywhere that says, DON’T HAVE FUN AND BE IN LOVE – so let’s break this negative view on dating – how will you go out and have fun on your next date?