LIFESTYLE: How to Find out if Your Boyfriend Is Cheating on You (for Girls)
his excuses.Before, he always seemed ready to hang out, and now,
his reasons for not being able to see you are piling up. At first, you believed
him when he said he had a stomach ache or was too tired to go out, but you're
starting to wonder if he's really trying to tell you that he doesn't want to
spend time with you because he's busy hanging out with some other girl. Here
are some signs that he may be cheating:
he used to save all of his free time for you, but now he's always going out for
"boy's night." This is especially suspicious if he doesn't have that
many male friends, or never showed much of an interest in hanging out with his
he's suddenly working overtime all the time. Though he's worked overtime
occasionally in the past, suddenly things are really busy at
work, and he seems to always be there instead of hanging out with you. Of
course, many professions have a busy season, and he could be working on a more
time-consuming project, but it's more likely that he's using overtime to mean
"time with my other girlfriend."
he's always too tired to stay out late or hang out and
was never tired before, this may be a sign that he's using his
energy on someone else.
you made a routine of having lunch or dinner together often and now he's never
in the mood, or just doesn't feel well or isn't hungry.
of these signs alone means that your boyfriend is cheating on you. But if all
of these things come up repeatedly, then it either means that he's spending a
lot of quality time with someone else, or that he doesn't want to spend time
with you anymore. If he's always making excuses for why he doesn't want to hang
out with you, then you should ask yourself why you're still in the
the things he says.Even when he's not making excuses, your boyfriend
could start saying things that make him sound like another person all together.
If there's suddenly a change in how he talks to you and how he talks in
general, then he may be thinking of another lady. Here are some signs that the
things he says may show that he's cheating:
he stops complementing you. Did he compliment you all the time before, and now
he suddenly stopped any flattery? If he never tells you you're beautiful, or
mentions your best features and how awesome you generally are, then maybe he's
saving all of his flattery for someone else.
he compliments you more often. If he wasn't a big complementer, but suddenly
he's always telling you how amazing you are, he may be doing it out of guilt.
If he does this after a long and unexplained absence, then this is particularly
he just sounds different. If he's saying things he's never said before, using
words he's never used before, or even laughing in a new way, then maybe he
picked up these words from a special lady.
he doesn't return your texts for hours in the middle of a conversation. If you
were having a long texting exchange and he's suddenly MIA, it may mean that his
new lady just showed up.
Method 2 of 4: Notice
What he Does
if there's a change in your sex life.If
he has another girlfriend, he may stop spending as much time in the bedroom
with you, but it could also make him want to have more sex. Here are some
things to look:
you're having a really long dry spell. If he never wants to have sex anymore,
he may be getting it somewhere else.
he suddenly has a voracious sexual appetite. If he wants to have sex all the
time all of a sudden, it may be because his sex drive has gone up from sleeping
with another lady.
he tries a ton of new moves in bed. He could be picking these up from another
if he's much nicer or more helpful.Your
boyfriend may have some serious guilt because he's cheating on you, and this
will actually make him much nicer to you. If you find that suddenly he's
helping out around the house a lot more or doing a ton of favors for you, he
may be doing it to compensate.
he cleans your apartment, fixes your car, or buys your groceries and has never
done those things before, there may be a reason for it.
he's always asking if there's any way he can help.
he's suddenly Mr. Romance and brings you candy and flowers, especially after a
long period where he was distant.
if he's meticulously clean all of a sudden.If
your boyfriend never cared about the state of his car or apartment but now he's
taking hours to clean it, he may be doing it to clean up for another lady or to
hide evidence of her.
his car used to be messy and is now spotless, he may be keeping it fresh for
his apartment is much cleaner than it used to be, and if he always says he
needs some time to clean up, he may be cleaning it to get rid of evidence of
his other girl. If you really want to find out if he's cheating on you, come
over when he says he is "cleaning his apartment" and see what he's
really up to.
he uses air freshener in his car or home. He may be using it to hide the smell
of his lead lady.
if his mood changes.Whether he seems to always be in a good mood, or is
just moody all the time instead of his usual even-keeled self, then something
is up. Pay attention to his mood to see if something is up:
he's sometimes in a ridiculously good mood, like he's walking on sunshine, for
no apparent reason. If he's grinning ear to ear and looking off into the
distance like he's remembering a fond memory with another girl, then chances
are his good mood has nothing to do with you.
he's suddenly in a terrible mood. If everything seems fine and he's suddenly
furious or very upset, especially after a phone call or text message, then
another girl may have had something to do with it.
if he engages in generally shady behavior.Shady
behavior is pretty easy to spot, and if he's doing at least a few shady things,
then it can only add up to him sneaking around to spend time with another girl.
Here are some signs:
he's spending a lot of time texting and on the phone. If he stops texting or
ends his phone call as soon as you leave the room.
he's suddenly spending a lot of time online. This could be a sign that he's
chatting it up with another girl. If he slams his computer shut when you walk
into a room, that is a bad sign.
he disappears for hours, and is just incommunicado for a day, a night, or even
a weekend. If he can't take the time to answer your call or just send you a
quick message, then he may be with another girl.
he shuts his phone off for hours on end. Why else would he do that?
Method 3 of 4: Notice his Appearance
if his looks have changed.Your man's appearance
can say a lot about whether or not he's cheating. If he didn't care much about
his appearance before, but now spends more time grooming than you do, then
something is up. He may be improving or changing his looks to please his side
piece. Here are some signs that he's grooming for someone else:
he used to be scruffy before, but he's always shaving.
he gets routine haircuts now, but let his hair grow shaggy before.
his clothes have improved significantly.
you catch him starting in the mirror to study his looks.
he always looks nice, even when he's supposed to be studying or working
big red flag is if he smells different. Whether his body chemistry
has changed slightly from being with another woman, or if he outright smells
like perfume, this is a big sign that he's been spending time with someone
there are stray hairs on his body and clothes that do not belong
attention to how he treats his body.If
your man suddenly cares a lot more about his body than he did before, then he
may not be doing it just for you. Unless he's suddenly determined to run a
marathon, it's more likely that he's improving his body for another lady. Here
are some signs:
he's suddenly working out all the time and cares a great deal about his
appearance. Remember that going to the gym could also just be another excuse
for seeing his lady.
he's dramatically changed his diet to be healthier. He could be doing this to
impress someone else.
he's weirdly shy with his body around you and doesn't want you to see him with
his shirt off, and only wants to have sex in the dark. This could mean that he
feels he's being disloyal to his other woman.
attention to his body language.Your
man's body language can go a long way in telling you how he feels about you,
and if he's really thinking about someone else instead of you. Here are a few
signs that he may be cheating on you:
he doesn't make eye contact when you talk. If he used to be Mr. Eye Contact,
but now he always looks away or at the floor when you speak, then he may be
doing it out of guilt.
he doesn't give you affection. If he used to shower you with affection but
rarely touches you, this is a red flag.
he shows you affection in private, but not in public. Though some guys are just
shy about showing affection in public, if he's all over you when you're home,
or even when you're home and hanging out with a few friends, but stands a foot
away from you when you're at a restaurant, he may be worried that his other
lady will spot you two together.
Method 4 of 4: Investigate
if he's cheating.Once the signs have added up and you feel like you've
already found out that he's cheating, it's time to make him confess. The
easiest way is just to have a conversation about it. Then you can avoid
snooping through his stuff, getting hurt when you see something you don't like,
and spare yourself the extra pain and humiliation. Here's how to do it:
him off guard. You should still pick the right time and place to do it, but you
should ask him when he's not expecting it so he'll be less likely to come up
with a brilliant lie.
him you'd prefer honesty over more lies. Make it sound like he's doing you a
favor by confessing---which he really is doing.
"I think we'll both feel better once this is out in the open." Make
it sound like he would be very relieved to stop lying to you. He probably will.
Living a double life is exhausting.
eye contact. Be really sincere. Show him that he's really hurting you.
you're afraid to ask yourself but don't want to take the extreme route of
following him or looking through his things, ask one of your friends, or even
one of his friends who you really like. Chances are, if his friend knows about
his shady behavior, he may not feel good about it, either.
him.If you're afraid to have a conversation or feel like
you don't have enough evidence, follow him to see what he's really up to. You
have to be sneaky about it or he'll know, lose trust in you, and won't give you
any evidence. Here's what to do:
him in a friend's car. If he says he's hanging out with the boys and you really
want to see what he's doing, follow him in a friend's car so he doesn't notice
in" on him when he's not expecting it. Come over at random times, like
when he says he's cleaning for you or not feeling well. If he's not feeling
well, bring over some soup and act like you'r trying to be sweet. Whether he's
with another girl or not, see how he acts. Is he happy to see you, or angry
that you showed up without warning?
if he's really working overtime. That's easy. Just drop by his work to give him
coffee or a late-night snack to see if he's there. Or just drive by to see if
his car is there.
through his things.Snooping through your man's things is the quickest way
to break trust and put your relationship in jeopardy, but if you're really sure
he's cheating and just want to put the nail in the coffin, then go for it.
Here's what you do:
through his phone. If he's a good cheater, he'll make it impossible for you to
look through his phone, but try anyway. Go through it when he's sleeping, or
see if he drops it when he's getting out of the car and pick it up.
his computer. If he's dumb enough to leave his computer open, check out his
email and his Facebook messages. This will let you know if he's cheating pretty
soon. Also notice if he meticulously deletes all of his emails. That's a little
through his stuff. If he's sleeping or not home, go through his desk, his bag,
or even his wallet for any signs of affection from another lady.
his bank statements. Do you not remember him spending $200 on you at a romantic
Italian place? Then he must have been shelling out cash for another lady.